Buried Review

Like Phone Booth and, to a lesser extent, Panic Room before it, Buried is a thriller that belongs in the somewhat gimmicky sub-category of thriller in a confined setting. Buried is surely the pinnacle of the genre as the whole film occurs in a coffin. 90 minutes in a coffin is a tough ask for a film and, to its credit, Buried pulls it off but to very little consequence.

Ryan Reynolds plays Paul Conroy, a truck driver working in Iraq whose convoy is ambushed and who wakes up, well, buried. He is six feet under in a wooden box with a mobile phone, lighter, fluorescent lights and his anti anxiety tablets. As he tries to desperately contact the outside world the “why” of his situation slowly comes together. Sand, snakes and assorted unhelpful people on the other end of the line work desperately to maintain the tension as his situation worsens and time begins to run out for Paul.

Director Rodrigo Cortes works his socks off trying to keep the film visually interesting. Setting a film entirely in a coffin is an interesting experiment but could have been a total chore to sit through and it’s to Cortes’ credit that it isn’t. But I couldn’t have cared less about the character and there really was no tension in the film at all, even as the script kept piling on the twists and turns and obstacles for Conroy to overcome. One can only imagine the panic one would experience in real life waking up in that situation, but as Paul uses his mobile phone to create a way out for himself, he ends up screaming at people in scenes that venture way too close to repetition for comfort. It’s not Reynolds’ fault as he really does sell the situation and its desperation in what one imagines must have been a bitch of a shoot. It’s the script that lets everyone down as it makes Conroy yell and shout and generally fail to convey the gravity of his situation. It’s not all bad, one or two moments work reasonably well, the idea that, even buried in a coffin, the biggest hurdle you face is being put on hold is well done and creates surprising levity. But it's not really enough and I never once experienced the kind of claustrophobia the film wanted me to.

Buried is worth watching, if only as a curiosity. But I was never tense and never really cared. The biggest thing I took from it was that it is actually possible to make a film set in a coffin visually interesting. Kudos for that I guess.

5.5/10

World's Greatest Dad Review

This just in! Robin Williams is credible again!

World’s Greatest Dad is a pitch black comedy that barely puts a foot wrong. It boasts a great script by writer/director Bobcat Goldthwait (Zed from the Police Academy films, he of the “funny” voice), restrained direction and a great central performance from Williams. Seriously, Police Academy’s Zed directing Patch Adams in a good film?!? Has the world gone mad?!?

Williams plays teacher and failed writer Lance Clayton. Lance is also father to his sex obsessed, crude, misogynistic, life-hating and generally stupid son Kyle with whom he repeatedly and abortively tries to bond. When Kyle accidentally kills himself by auto-erotic asphyxiation, Lance alters the scene to make it look like suicide. He fakes a suicide note that ends up going around the school and profoundly affecting students and teachers alike and suddenly Lance’s writing has gained the audience he has always wanted… Things escalate from there as Lance descends deeper and deeper into his lie and Kyle ends up with a legacy that is hilariously flawed and unearned.

What’s great about World’s Greatest Dad is its willingness to follow through on where its concept can take it, the script absolutely unafraid to explore its central character’s manipulation and cashing in of his son’s death. The film takes its time getting to Kyle’s death and you watch Lance get trod on by his son, his son’s only friend, girlfriend, fellow teachers and principal of the school in which he teaches. He never complains, even as he knows people are taking the piss. This means that, as you watch him capitalise on the faked suicide, you’re still on his side. He has never complained, he’s basically a good guy, his son was a total nightmare, why shouldn’t he go out for himself? Williams is completely game, matching the script’s desire to push boundaries. People’s reactions to the death are dealt with mercilessly, from the students in search of meaning, to the principal conveniently forgetting he wanted to put Kyle in a special needs school, to the Oprah-like talk show host offering her viewers a heart rending story, everyone is a target of Goldthwaite’s razor sharp satire. Running jokes are pushed to the max but never stretched to breaking point, the Bruce Hornsby running joke in particular paying off in one of the film’s funniest moments.

World’s Greatest Dad is that rarest of film, one that has the courage of its convictions. It’s out on limited release but it really is worth catching, if only as a reminder that, with the right material, Robin Williams is a great comedy actor.

“Thank you Bruce Hornsby” might just be the best line of the year so far.

8/10

The Town Review

I think we have a new movie cliché. Along with the “hit man called out for one last job” film or the “clean cut cop paired with a manic cop” film, or the “ugly duckling turns into beautiful swan” film (usually by letting her hair down and taking off her glasses) surely we must now add “crime thriller set in Boston” film? Why is every American crime thriller currently set in Boston? The ridiculous accents, Red Sox Hoodies, chats about “the neighbourhood” these are now clichés every bit as tiresome as any other. Welcome to The Town. What’s frustrating is that the film is very well made, very well directed by Ben Affleck and it’s to his credit that he is able to take material this familiar, this well worn, and elevate it into something watchable. With a good script I have no doubt Affleck will direct a really great film. But this isn’t it.

The Town isn’t bad per se, it’s just so painfully unoriginal. Doug MacRay (Affleck) heads a team of bank robbers in Charlestown (or “Chaaaaaaalsetaaaaaan” in Boston vernacular) who, on one particular job, kidnap bank manager Claire Keesey (Rebecca Hall) but let her go unharmed. Upon discovering that she actually lives right in their neighbourhood and they will probably see her every day, Affleck sets about ingratiating himself into her life to find out what she knows about the gang. Can you see where this is going? Of course you can. As they fall in love, FBI Agent John Hamm (still managing to be dapper in that effortless Don Draper way even with three day stubble and shoddy FBI clothes) is hot on their heels, knowing who the gang is and slowly gathering evidence to put them away for good. Present and accounted for are the best friend, the unhinged James Coughlin (Jeremy Renner), the local crime lord (unlikely Pete Postlethwaite with an awesome Northern Irish accent) the Dad behind bars (Chris Cooper) and the drugged up skank causing problems for Affleck. (Blake Lively.) Is “drugged up skank” a politically correct term? Not sure. Anyway, boxes are ticked, scenes arrive with total predictability, the films goes exactly where you expect it to at every point and then it ends.

I’m coming down pretty hard on The Town and, in truth, because I like these kinds of films I was happy to watch it. The hook is that, an enormous percentage of all bank robberies committed in America occur in this small area of Charlestown. But while that's an interesting fact, it doesn't impact the story or the film in any meaningful way. Affleck wants out of the neighbourhood and his world of crime but so has every other protagonist in this kind of film before him. The "why" of it doesn't really matter. As I said above, the fact that it’s as well made as it is only serves to remind that we have been in this territory many, many times before. The various set pieces, opening bank robbery, a car chase through narrow streets and the climactic gun fight, are very well handled, Affleck and his always brilliant director of photograpy Robert Elswitt finding interesting angles to shoot the action from and allowing the audience the space to understand the geography of what’s happening within the frame. But I keep returning to the near total lack of originality. What is in this story that makes it worth telling? A bit of Heat, a bit of Copland, a bit of (God forbid) The Departed, stir well and then serve up The Town. I also found myself with little reason to care about the characters. Will Ben Affleck die? Go to jail? Live happily ever after? Get the girl, not get the girl? I don’t really care. And the script makes that lazy decision to have his best friend a borderline psycho who’s happy to kill. “See? Ben is not as bad as that guy. It’s okay to root for him.”

I have problems with Gone Baby Gone but it’s a much more interesting film. The Town feels like a way for Ben Affleck the director to hone his craft, challenge himself by directing action and plot and he has totally succeeded but, as a film, it’s treading water. It’s now time for him to get a really compelling piece of material and become the serious director he’s threatening to become.

Just please don’t set it in Boston.

6/10

Quickies

I’m going to be offline for a few days so here are a couple of very quick reviews.

THE OTHER GUYS

I’ve come to the conclusion that I like Will Ferrell a lot more than I often like his films. Anchorman is without doubt his best, I have a soft spot for Blades Of Glory, but Talladega Nights, Semi Pro, Step Brothers… they all have funny stuff in them, usually Ferrell is the best thing in them, but the films as a whole are extremely scattershot, often too long and ultimately fall short to varying degrees. And to that list we can now add The Other Guys. What was surprising was how the film ended up being stolen from underneath Will Ferrell’s nose by Michael Keaton who is hilarious as the clichéd “Police Captain” who also happens to work at a bed and mattress superstore. Some very funny moments, definitely enough to make it worth a watch, but, again, scattershot, way too long and in the end probably insufficient.

5.5/10

DEVIL

When the concept is 6 people are trapped in a lift and one of them is the Devil, you really can’t complain about the resulting film. If, in a weird way, it had embraced its own inherent silliness a bit more it may have been quite good. But coming from the mind of M Night Shyamalan there is nothing throwaway or silly here. This is THE DEVIL people!!! And he’s in a lift!!! Thing is, it’s running time is 76 minutes and for that it’s definitely getting extra points. It’s also verging on the enjoyable in a bad way. It doesn’t quite get there, for the most part it’s just bad, and if anyone is fooled by the reveal of which of the elevator’s occupants the Devil ends up being, you should never be allowed inside another cinema ever again.

4.5/10

That’s it for now folks.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) Review

Sometimes you watch a film and you think, what am I doing here? What am I supposed to be getting from this? In fairness, the story of The Human Centipede (First Sequence) is pretty infamous by now so one could argue that, you know what you’re getting yourself into. But while the shock value of the idea might get you to see the film in the first place, ultimately the film itself needs to deliver something and, for my money, it really doesn’t.

So the story is (and do finish eating before you go any further) that mad scientist Dr. Heiter, who has spent his life separating Siamese twins, has decided that it’s time to do the opposite, i.e. connect people together. Via the digestive system. Ass to mouth. Literally. The unwitting subjects are two young American girls who are travelling across Europe and a young Japanese guy. The Japanese guy forms the head of the “centipede” and the two girls the middle and end. His creation complete, the Doctor goes about trying to train his human centipede, but of course things go wrong.

So let me try and eek out the good here. Given its concept, the film is surprisingly free of gore and viscera. Writer/director Tim Six understands that the idea of this film is enough to give you shivers. He knows that all it takes is the Japanese guy to say “I need a shit” and you will spend the next 5 minutes squirming in the most convulsive, uncomfortable horror as all you’re actually watching is a close up of the poor girl’s eyes. This is the girl who is in the middle I should explain. In case that wasn’t clear. The most effective sequence is when Dr. Heiter has his three subjects tied to their beds in his makeshift surgery in the basement of his house and he explains the details of what he is about to do, severing kneecaps, removing teeth, and literally sewing the three people together. He does this with the kind of matter-of-fact precision that any surgeon would use to explain to their patient the details of their forthcoming procedure and it’s very effective indeed. The point here isn’t torture for torture sake, like, say, Hostel or Saw. This is an experiment, and the fact that the three subjects are anaesthetised as he performs the various surgeries and then wake up in the positions they end up in, adds to the sense of madness and hopelessness and makes it more terrifying as a result. This is a man who knows exactly what he wants to do and is going about it without fuss or hysteria, in the most methodical and efficient way he can. On this point, arguably the greatest horror on display is the horror of humiliation and degradation. Dr. Heiter proceeds to try and train his new creation as if it were a pet, the three people forced to crawl on their hands and knees, eat the food the Doctor throws at them and suffer the consequences when they disobey. Again, it’s interesting to note that this punishment occurs off screen. You hear what is happening and that is more than enough. This is not to say there is no onscreen violence; I defy anyone to watch the tooth extraction without wincing or screaming like a girl and covering their face with a cushion. Not that that’s what I did of course. I merely winced and moved on. But the point is that Six is trying to create horror through ideas and, in a really unique way, this is the problem.

I have no time for violence for violence sake in films, including horror films. The best horror for me is always psychological, always about ideas, and while The Human Centipede eschews gratuitous violence, it is equally possible to assault people with an idea so gratuitous that you have to wonder, in a similar way as you would with the films that place gratuitous violence front and centre, what is the point? What am I to get from all this? The film succeeded in making me squirm at points, making me uncomfortable at points, but to what end? And if there isn’t an end or point greater than the sum of the parts (which, for me, there isn’t) then isn’t that the very definition of gratuitousness? Dieter Laser plays the part very well and what is good is the way he is obviously, in-your-face insane. There is no pretence, no attempt at subversion, he is batshit raving mad from frame one. The downside from a plot perspective is that, from the second the two girls enter his house and are offered a drink of water, you are screaming at them to run. He is CLEARLY up to no good, get the hell out of the house!!! What is also good about his performance is the fact that, it’s not brimming with tics and hysteria. As I said above, cold, methodical and efficient are the best words to describe him and this makes him even more frightening. Cold, methodical and efficient are also good words to describe Tim Six’s directing style and I found myself completely distanced from the subjects’ plight at all times. The ending, in particular the final image, is supposed to resonate and haunt you but I really didn’t care at that point and so it had no effect on me at all.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) has and will gain notoriety. I like the fact that those seeking the very worst of what this film could have been will be disappointed by it not being as in-your-face as they will have presumably imagined. But in the end the only question I could ask is, what’s the point of it all? And, beyond to shock with a truly skin-crawling idea, I fear the answer is that there isn’t one.

4/10

Salt Review

I can’t believe I enjoyed Salt! It’s 2012 AND The Expendables all over again where I know the film is bad but I’m enjoying it nonetheless.

In fairness, Salt (despite that ridiculous title) is slightly more credible than the other two films mentioned but it’s cut from similar cloth and essentially boils down to Hollywood nonsense that is more fun than it should be. Angelina Jolie plays CIA agent Evelyn Salt, who is forced to go on the run when a Russian defector literally walks in off the street to divulge information about sleeper Russian agents in place in the various American institutions who are about to initiate “Day X” a day when the agents become active and, through a series of devastating terrorist attacks, bring down the entire US. The defector identifies Salt as one such agent and announces, in CIA headquarters, that she is going to kill the Russian president later that day. Salt is forced to go on the run and ends up in a series of escalating action set pieces that require her to leap from roof tops, speeding lorries, infiltrate a massively guarded funeral service and, ultimately, break into The White House itself.

Angelina Jolie seems to be single-handedly making the case for the credibility of female action heroes and she does it exceptionally well. Much has been made of the fact she did most of her own stunts and Jolie is able to sell all the various high jumps and kicks, her patented leaping-against-a-wall-so-as-to-push-herself-off-it-into-a-bad-guy’s-face move being particularly awesome. Actually, I say “bad guys” but most of Salt’s victims are poor policemen or government agents of one kind or another who, one assumes, aren’t bad guys at all, merely getting in the way of what Salt has to do. On top of Jolie's physical prowess, seasoned thriller director Philip Noyce handles all the various set pieces with considerable flair and gives them a sense of reality that, for the most part, works quite well. Being about three steps ahead of any film is crippling, but in a thriller it’s disastrous, so extra kudos to Noyce and Jolie for making Kurt Wimmer’s pretty pedestrian screenplay (complete with ropey Hollywood dialogue, “We’re gonna crash this party”) come alive as well as they do. The film tries to keep Salt’s motivations for what she is doing vague, her guilt or innocence constantly a question. This all leads to a “surprise” ending that won’t be much of a surprise for anyone who has seen a single Hollywood thriller before. In fairness to the script, the Day X notion is a fun conspiracy, even if it is told in flashback. Oh and speaking of flashbacks, the moments where we get to see Jolie's relationship with husband August Diehl are a waste of time. And I wonder if his job as spider specialist is going to become important at any stage... One or two moments, (Jolie going undercover as a man being the worst offender) threaten to derail the film but there is always another fun chase or fight on the horizon to bring you back onside. British actor Chiwetol Ejiofor continues his run of big budget movies as Agent Peabody (Seriously, who the hell came up with these names?!?) the agent charged with bringing her in and Leiv Schrieber is wholly insufficient as her old friend and fellow agent Ted Winter (slightly better but somehow I would imagine someone called Ted Winter as a supply teacher rather than a crack CIA operative). But it’s Jolie’s show and she really delivers and props the film up when it’s losing steam.

I’ve had a run of dodgy action movies of late with Salt, The A Team, Expendables and Knight and Day, which I just realised I never reviewed; (it’s terrible 2.5/10. There you go!) It’s nice to see stand alone old fashioned action thrillers making a return (thank you Jason Bourne for that) and Salt was definitely my favourite. Of course, if it makes enough money we’ll be seeing more Evelyn Salt on our big screens which would be no bad thing in my view. Salt 2: Rock Salt, Salt 3-D: Sodium Free. The possibilities are endless.

7/10

The Expendables Review

I can’t believe I enjoyed The Expendables! It’s 2012 all over again where I know the film is bad but I’m enjoying it nonetheless.

In fairness, I wasn’t going with it for the first 20/25 minutes. The opening action sequence, taking down a ship full of Somalian pirates, was somewhat underwhelming, the following scenes of “character development” interminable. But writer/director/actor Sly Stallone knows he can’t get such presumably giant egos together in one movie without giving everyone their moment to shine and the scene that turned things around for me comes when Jason Statham (playing Lee Christmas. Honestly…) confronts his ex girlfriend’s new guy on a basketball court after he discovers the new guy has been beating her. It’s meant to reveal character, but as written by Sly and delivered by the Stath, it’s unintentionally hilarious and the fight is quite cool. I was now onside with the film and remained so right up until the last half hour of brilliantly over the top carnage that takes the last 20 minutes of Rambo and makes it look tame by comparison.

The story, such as it is, sees a team of mercenaries, the eponymous Expendables, try and take down evil CIA agent turned drug baron Eric Roberts and his puppet General played by David Zayas, Dexter’s Detective Angel Bathista. And that’s pretty much it. In truth, the film has been hyped as the greatest collection of action stars ever assembled in the greatest action movie ever made and on that level it’s disappointing. Anyone who has read the press conference will have noticed Sly’s somewhat barbed remark that Segal and Van Damme turned him down because they saw their careers going in “a different direction.” But (and I REALLY never thought I’d ever type the following sentence…) in a film billed as the greatest cast of action stars ever, their presence is missed. And the much trumpeted coming together of Stallone, Bruce Willis and the Guvernator is a blink and you’ll miss it 1 minute scene of cameos that, in truth, is kind of laboured. I don’t follow American wrestling so, despite having heard of Randy Couture and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, really, their presence didn’t resonate with me particularly. Also, you know, they’re wrestlers. But what you DO get is a ludicrous, over-the-top, old fashioned, men-on-a-mission action movie. You never have any sense of danger for the team, despite their being called the Expendables, and even when 64 year old Sly is getting pummelled by a 30-something, brick shithouse professional wrestler, you still don’t feel any danger for him, even if the fight itself is a lot of fun. As I said, everyone is given their moment. Jet Li and Dolph Lungdren square off and, honestly, have you ever seen THAT before? Statham gets several moments of glory and, as he’s demonstrated before, is physically very adept. When Jason Statham is your most credible actor, that should send alarm bells ringing but somehow the whole debacle emerges unscathed from the onslaught of appalling dialogue, ropey acting and posturing by the leads. A fitting metaphor for the whole last half hour of the film in fact. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a good film in any traditional sense but as guilty pleasure movies go, it ends up being a lot of fun.

6.5/10